A Price to Pay Read online

  One of Marcus’s eyebrows rose in amusement. ‘I can see why, it’s quite formidable,’ he commented dryly. ‘So, can I join you?’

  This was certainly a turn-up for the bloody books. I’d tried and failed to get closer to him over the past few weeks, and even though I’d seen heat in his eyes as he looked at me and returned my smiles, he’d always found an excuse to leave or move away if I’d tried to initiate anything more.

  In the end, I’d had to reluctantly draw the conclusion that he just wasn’t interested in me, and yet here he was in all his glory asking if he could sit with me.

  Reeling in my shock, I smiled and nodded as I slid across the booth and patted the space beside me. ‘I’d like that, Marcus, thanks.’ Stupidly, my heart rate had accelerated to near lethal levels in my chest and I had to draw in several shaky breaths to try to calm myself.

  As soon as he was settled he took a deep breath as if also steadying himself, and I felt reassured that he was apparently finding this just as nerve-wracking as I was. There was a slightly awkward silence between us and then he offered me a small, sweet smile and broke the quiet. ‘So, how’s things?’

  “Things” were seriously weird – my pulse was still going wild and I could feel a nervous flutter in my stomach at his proximity. Not that I would admit that, but with the way my body was going crazy for him, small talk was probably sensible to give me time to calm down.

  ‘Really good, thanks. I’m in the process of buying a flat, actually.’

  ‘Wow, that’s exciting.’ Marcus looked surprised, so Oliver obviously hadn’t told him about my meeting with his neighbour.

  Sipping my drink, I lifted my free hand and crossed my fingers. ‘As long as the survey goes through it should be full steam ahead in the next few months.’

  ‘Good luck.’ Marcus chinked his glass against mine in a toast, and after we had both taken a drink and placed our glasses down he looked up at me intently. ‘I’ve been holding myself back from doing this for months.’

  He’d been holding himself back from talking to me? I’d made enough attempts to start up conversations with him, so his words made absolutely no sense. ‘Doing what?’

  Marcus didn’t answer me audibly. Instead, he slid closer in the booth, looped a hand behind my head, and then, with no further pause, crashed his mouth down onto mine.

  Desire exploded in my system at his desperate touch, my skin going wild at his closeness, and a flare of heat rushed up my neck as his lips started to move insistently over mine.

  Holy fuck! Not that I was complaining, but where the hell had this come from?

  All the months of pent-up frustration suddenly seemed to ignite between us like a petrol-soaked rag to an open fire, and I groaned in pleasure and shifted in my seat so our bodies were at the perfect angle to deepen the kiss. Marcus took my cue and used my groan to press his tongue inside my mouth, extending the kiss into something far more erotic as his tongue began twining with mine in a lusty duel that had us both panting within seconds.

  My God, he was a seriously fucking good kisser, and this was seriously fucking hot.

  He was kissing me like I was the very thing he needed to survive, like I was some rare and beautiful creature he wanted to capture and keep, and the feeling was so potent that my head started to spin and I had to reach up to steady myself on his forearms.

  I dragged him closer, needing the feel of him under my fingertips. I felt as if I couldn’t get him near enough, like he was the very thing I needed for survival, too. I wanted him touching me all over, pressed against me, inside and out.

  As soon as I touched him, though, Marcus tensed below my fingers, but without breaking the contact between our lips he managed to take both of my hands in his and link them behind my back, where he gripped them in one of his large palms. Holding my wrists with one hand, he moved his other hand up to cradle the back of my head as his lips continued to devour me.

  Hmm, into a bit of restraint, was he? The hold on my wrists and tension in my arms was a new sensation for me – though I’d had a lot of sex in my adult life, bondage wasn’t something I’d experimented with – but now I was experiencing it at the hands of Marcus I had to say it was pretty damn hot. The new position made me feel deliciously wanted by him, and the pull on my arms arched my back slightly pressing my breasts into his chest, which was just fine by me.

  We kissed like this for an age, both of us breathing heavier and getting more and more aroused with each passing second. His lips left mine and began to explore along my jawline and I took the opportunity to pull in a ragged breath. As much as I was enjoying the sensation of being controlled by him, I started to get fidgety in my capture. I wanted to touch him; explore the firm chest I could feel against my breasts, run my hands through his wild blond hair, and feel the roughness of his stubble under my fingertips.

  While my lips were free I vocalised my desires, giving a tug of my wrists at the same time. ‘I want to touch you.’

  Marcus paused, his lips hovering just beside my ear and hot breath tickling the sensitive lobe. ‘No. No touching.’ His lips landed on my skin again, peppering kisses across my cheek as if that might make me forget my request, but as he reached my lips I twisted my head away so I could look into his eyes.

  ‘I can’t touch you?’ I asked, confused by his odd statement. Did he mean no touching now, or never? Perhaps this was a scene he wanted to play out tonight. We were both members of a sex club, after all, and I had no idea what his bedroom tastes were. He might be like Oliver and enjoy domination and restraint.

  A troubled look flickered in his eyes and reflected in a frown lowering his brow. ‘No.’

  In one fluid movement he stood and shifted us to the side of the booth so we stood in a darkened nook hidden away from the rest of the club. He backed me into the wall and adjusted my wrists, interlinking our fingers and pressing our joined hands against the wall on either side of my head.

  Our faces were now level, and he gave a squeeze on my hands. ‘Apart from hand-holding.’

  So I could hold his hand but nothing else? How the hell would that ever work if we had sex? He shifted his stance so that his body pressed against mine, and now we were standing the jut of his arousal pressed insistently against my stomach, notching up my own desires.

  He was so close like this that I very nearly lost myself to the feel of his body, the scent of his skin, and the gorgeous green of his eyes, but there seemed to be a trace of something in his gaze, some sort of sadness or regret, and it made me question him further.

  ‘No touching at all? Like ever?’

  The sorrow in his gaze seemed to increase at my words, and then he slowly shook his head. ‘No, only me touching you.’

  I blinked in confusion, struggling to understand his bizarre rules. ‘Why?’

  His nostrils flared, and he gave a marginal shrug, clearing his expression as if he hadn’t just requested something so peculiar. ‘Because that’s the way it has to be.’ Marcus’s tone made it clear he’d decided that was the end of our discussion, but even though I didn’t ask any more questions my mind was still racing, and I wondered if he’d always been like this.

  His kiss and confidence screamed of experience, so I could only assume that he’d had many sexual partners in the past. Had his previous lovers not been allowed to touch him either?

  As these questions floated in my mind his mouth found mine once more, and his lips were so warm and persuasive that I started to forget about my queries and my earlier urge to touch him. My body was instantly alight for him again and I moaned as he rolled his hips against mine and tilted his head to deepen the kiss. He was clearly more than capable of turning me on without the need for my touch, because my body was on fire for him, so I gave up my questions and just allowed myself to sink deeper under his spell.

  Electricity felt as if it was sparking in the air around us and crackling across my skin, and our breathing was so frantic that I could hear it echoing around us above the beat of the music. Mar
cus was kissing me like a man possessed, and after so long craving him I was giving back just as much.

  Pulling back for a breath, Marcus grinned down at me, looking relaxed again now that I had stopped my questions. I took a moment to absorb just how bloody handsome he was; his green eyes were clear and possessive, and his blond hair was wild, reminiscent of Gordon Ramsay’s, only thicker and even less tamed.

  Licking my lips, I tried to calm my breathing as I returned his smile. ‘I’m not complaining at all, but what’s caused your sudden change of heart?’ I asked, wondering why he had chosen now to kiss me, when I’d tried it on with him so many times over the past few months and been rejected every single time.

  Marcus gave a shy smile and lowered his head so the tip of his nose briefly brushed against mine. It was an oddly romantic gesture, and for a girl who only ever did connections that involved no feelings or emotions I was surprised at how much I liked it.

  ‘Unlike many other men here, I don’t do one-night stands,’ he admitted quietly. ‘From what I saw of you when you first joined Club Twist that was all you did.’ Marcus brought himself up short, and a blush reddened his cheeks as he gave me a rueful smile. ‘No offence.’

  ‘None taken.’ I shrugged, a little embarrassed by the accuracy of his observations, but honest enough to admit that yes, that was exactly how I chose to conduct my sex life. I liked sex, but I didn’t like relationships, and there was no point being prim about it.

  He nodded once, and his hands gripped mine a little tighter as he lowered his face closer again. Our breaths mingled, and as I smelled a faint trace of rum all I could think about was him kissing me again.

  ‘I’ve noticed a change in you over the last few months, Sasha. You’re not with a different guy every time I come in here any more, I even watched as you knocked back three separate guys tonight, one after the other.’ He smiled, and it was almost shy, then he gave a small shrug. ‘You and I have been exchanging some pretty heated glances over the past few weeks, so I figured maybe you felt the thing between us, too, and that I could finally tempt you into forgetting your one-night rule and give me a chance.’

  Visions of him kissing me again evaporated as his words sunk in.

  Give him a chance?

  What. The. Fuck?

  So, within the space of five minutes we’d gone from barely ever speaking, to kissing like maniacs, to him asking me to give him a chance? A chance at what, exactly? Did he mean a relationship?

  My hands were still trapped, and my body was pressed against the wall by the firm heat of his, but I used my limited wiggle room to shake my head.

  ‘Marcus… I don’t date. I don’t do relationships.’ I knew Robyn had told Oliver this much; had he not in turn told Marcus? ‘Oliver must surely have mentioned that?’

  Rolling his eyes as if my statement was ridiculous, Marcus blew out a long breath. He let out a groan and lowered his mouth to mine again as if there was no possible way he could resist me for another second.

  I rather liked the idea that he seemed to find me irresistible, and no matter how much I knew we needed to continue our conversation and not snog each other’s faces off, I couldn’t seem to ignore the sizzling bond between us. This was chemistry like I’d never experienced before; addictive, hot, and passionate, hinting that we’d be seriously explosive in the sack together. As he continued to kiss me with hot, open-mouth kisses that skimmed across my lips I gave up on conversation and enjoyed the sensation of our tongues duelling and our heated breaths mixing in the sex-drenched atmosphere around us.

  Marcus trailed his lips up my neck and then pulled back just slightly, his cheeks flushed and his eyes so dilated that they looked almost completely black.

  ‘There’s something between us, Sasha, you feel it, too. I know you do.’ His kiss began all over again as if trying to persuade me to his way of thinking, and I was so foggy-headed from the desire coursing around my system that I once again allowed it to blind me and continued kissing him back.

  I’d wanted Marcus for months, but his kiss was all-consuming, sucking me in and shocking me with the intensity of what I felt for him. The longer our mouths were joined, the clearer it became to me that this was more than just a kiss. He was right, there was something between us, a deeper connection of some sort, and from the way he was clinging to me and kissing me so desperately it seemed like he was just as affected by the emotions as I was.

  Emotions. The word echoed around inside my lust-fuddled mind, and if I hadn’t been so hazy from desire it would probably have caused alarm bells to sound.

  ‘We could be so good together. The connection between us is incredible,’ he murmured against my lips. He ground his hips against mine to make me completely aware of just how large he was in the trouser department, and how good it would no doubt feel to be joined with him intimately.

  One word stuck in my mind and finally broke through the cloud of yearning engulfing my body. Together. I didn’t do “togetherness”. The only version I did was two bodies banging together in the heat of passion for a short period of time and then going their separate ways.

  ‘Just admit that you feel it, Sasha. The connection between us is too good to ignore.’

  Suddenly everything started to feel as if it was spiralling out of control. Once again, he was speaking against my open mouth and I tasted something sweet like rum and Coke on his breath. The move would have been so erotic if he’d been murmuring sweet nothings or talking dirty to me, but he wasn’t; he was digging into my insecurities, talking about feelings and trying to get me to open up.

  I didn’t do deep feelings or connections, and I didn’t let anyone see my vulnerabilities, especially not a man.

  Nothing with emotions could ever last forever. It would always end in pain; I knew that from bitter experience.

  All this talk of emotions, togetherness, and connections had doused my arousal more effectively than if a bucket of iced water had just been thrown over me and I tilted my head back to look up at him.

  Marcus was gazing at me with such intensity that it was as if I could be the answer to all his problems, the girl to take away the pain in his eyes.

  He was looking at me as if I could be his everything, and it fucking terrified me.

  ‘This could be amazing if you’d just let it.’

  This would be amazing if I would let it? He was blaming me for holding things up? His words made me pause, and finally I came to my senses a little and twisted further away from him. How dare he turn this around onto me?

  ‘If I’d let it?’ I knew I was avoiding the real issues here – my fear of getting closer to someone and getting hurt – but turning the blame onto him seemed an easier option, so I allowed my brain to run with it and fire out an accusation of my own. ‘What about you, Marcus? You’ve made a run for it every single time I’ve tried to come close to you!’

  ‘Because I knew you only wanted a one-night stand and I’d place money on the fact that this thing between us is worth more than just a quick fuck.’

  ‘Quick fucks are what I do,’ I stated bluntly, ignoring the wince that my tone caused on his face.

  ‘Why can’t you even consider the possibility of something longer than one night?’ He sighed, his body still pressing heavily against mine, and his groin just as hard as it jerked and pulsed against my body. Clearly his dick hadn’t quite got the message that we were now arguing and not making out.

  ‘Because that’s what I do,’ I repeated sharply, not willing to explain my reasons to him. Two could play at that game – he hadn’t explained why he wouldn’t let me touch him earlier, so I wouldn’t explain my intimacy issues, either. ‘Can’t you just change your rules for one night?’

  His head shake was immediate and resolute. ‘No. I don’t do one-night stands, I already told you that.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I see you as more than just someone to fuck for an hour or two. Is that so bad? It should be a fucking compliment.’ To be fair to him, it probabl
y was complimentary, but I just couldn’t do it… I’d never done more than one night with a guy. Never.

  Finally seeing the frown still on my face, he sighed and let go of my hands as he moved back towards the booth, his entire demeanour changing and shuttering off in a split second, even if I could still see the large bulge in the front of his trousers.

  ‘I have issues, Sasha, and I’d need to explain them to you before anything could happen between us. I’m not going to put myself through the stress of that conversation just for a few hours of sex.’

  His words made me pause, but then the champagne bubbles from earlier boosted my confidence and now that my hands were free I reached down and lightly gripped his rock-solid groin. ‘It doesn’t feel like you have any issues to me.’

  Marcus tensed, let out a low growl, and knocked my hand away before shaking his head. ‘I’m not talking about performance issues,’ he grated. ‘My tackle works just fine.’

  I lowered my gaze and smiled. Even through his jeans it was obvious to see that Marcus was gifted in that department. Very gifted. ‘So I can see, big boy.’

  ‘Sasha, stop it.’ His tone was resigned now and full of frustration. ‘I guess this thing between us has to stop here, then.’ His words held a note of finality, and as I realised that he wasn’t going to change his mind about it I tried to protect myself and reply with a flippantly dismissive comment like I always did.

  ‘It doesn’t. Not if you weren’t so stuck up.’ Flicking my hair over my shoulder, I levelled my gaze on him and slowly licked my lips. ‘It could stop tomorrow morning, after we’ve spent the night together fucking each other’s brains out.’

  Marcus shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and scowled at me. ‘No, no, and three times no, Sasha.’

  Gah! This guy was so frustrating! Why did he have to be so bloody attractive?

  He let out another heavy sigh and stepped back from the booth with obvious reluctance. ‘I wish we could work this out, because the chemistry I feel with you is incredible,’ he murmured softly, his eyes dejected. ‘I just wish you would admit to feeling it, too.’